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| 2012 50th Wedding Anniversary Bob and Kathy Walker |
Last week we left off with newly widowed, Kathleen Bradley Barrette, living with her mother (Mary Stratton Bradley) and her two young children (Jay and Sandy) on Grand Avenue in Providence, RI.
If you are familiar with the TV show "How I met your mother?" then you will recognize that today's story could easily be an episode from that sitcom .
This is Kathy's story as told to her daughter, Robin Walker-Maya (2):
" After Johnny died I got a job in the office of Rhody Warehouse on Harris Ave in Providence, RI.(3) I worked with one other girl in the office. Her name was Francis. Francis was very pushy and not at all someone I wanted to be friends with. I remember one day we went out for lunch and she was so rude to the waitress. I vowed I would never go out with her again! "
Lucky for us Kathy did not keep her vow. Her change of mind changed all of our lives forever!
"One day Francis told me a friend of hers was coming home from the service. She really wanted to go out with this fella but he said he would only go out with Francis if she could bring a girlfriend for his buddy who was also returning from the service. Francis asked me to go.
I said no! But she was persistent!
I remember saying, Francis! I am a widow with two kids . Who would want to go out with me? She kept saying, "He won't care. You are just going out on a date"
I kept refusing. She kept haunting me. Driving me crazy! Finally I said, "I'll make a bargain with you . If you tell him I am a widow with two kids and he is okay with that then I will go."
"The next day Francis said the date was all set and he doesn't mind at all!"
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| Robert Walker Shepherds Air-force Base 1955 |
This was Kathy's first date since Johnny died. The year was 1959.
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| Sandy, Kathy and Jay 1960 |
"We went to a restaurant on Rt 146 in RI . I forget the name of the place but it is no longer there. They also had dancing. When we danced I felt like I fit perfectly in Bobby's arms ! He called a few days later. After that we talked every night.
Nana Walker (4) said she could not get over it. She told me her son was so shy and quiet and he never talked to anyone and yet he talks to you for over an hour every night !
(Back in those days phones were attached to the wall and they had a long cord attached to the phone itself)
Bobby would make the cord reach to his bedroom and shut the door so he could talk in private to me"
"One thing that really impressed me about Bobby was that he always insisted on taking Jay and Sandy with us when we went out during the day. What young 23 year old man does that?
We would often go down to the Lake where Nana and Grampa Walker had a house. Jay and Sandy loved it there!"(5)
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| Kathy and Bobby at the "Lake" |
"Bobby always swore he never knew that I was a widow with two kids when we met on that first blind date. He loved to joke. Honestly, I never knew if he was telling the truth about not knowing!"
I asked Mom if they had any fights or disagreements when they were courting.
"We had gone out on a couple of dates and we talked every night. Everything was going so well. I really liked him! Then one day he stopped calling. At first I thought, he must just be busy today but then as the days went by I started to get mad. I thought if he doesn't want to date me just call and say so! I really began to fume. When he finally did call I remember being very short with him.
He was very quiet and said he was sorry but he had bad news. His little brother Billy had died. (6) Honestly, I became even madder. I had met his brother several times and I really liked him. He was fun, outgoing and very friendly. I couldn't believe that Bobby hadn't told me so that I could go to the funeral.
When I finally calmed down and had some time to think about it I realized that Bobby was just as grief stricken as I had been when Johnny died. It also struck me how very similar our losses were.
Johnny had died suddenly at 23 from complication due to childhood rheumatic fever. Billy was only 20 when he passed away suddenly from a blood clot.
Looking back I remember feeling bad to think he didn't tell me about his brother right away but I should of understood that when tragedy hits you don't always think straight. Sometimes you just shut down and try to survive.
One good thing that came from Little Billy's death was that Nana Walker was more accepting of me. Up until that time she really did not like that her son was dating a widow with kids. But after Billy died she realized that if Roberta (Billy's wife) and Billy had children then Roberta would of been in the same situation as I was!"
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| Billy and Roberta (Wazybok) Walker c. 1959 |
So how did Dad ask you to marry him?
He said he didn't ! He said I asked him! I don't remember that. Funny thing about Bobby - you could never tell if he was joking or telling the truth.
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| The Wedding Party Donald Walker, Anne Barrette, Kathleen Bradley Barrette, Robert Walker and James Fain |
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| Roger Williams Park |
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| Leaving St. Paul's Church , Cranston, RI June 30, 1962 |
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| William Walker, Kathleen Bradley Barrette, Robert Walker , Annalene (O'Leary) Walker |
What was your wedding like?
"It was a beautiful day. I wore a peach dress that I liked very much. He wore a light tan suit. It was a color I loved on him. Anne Barrette(Johnny's sister) was my brides made. Donald Walker (Bobby's brother) was best man. Jay and Sandy were 5 and 6 when we got married. We were married at St Paul's church in Cranston, RI. The reception was at the Veterans hall across the street. We drove to Wild wood , NJ for our honeymoon."
The newly made family set up house at the Grand Avenue Apartment.
"From the beginning Bobby thought of Jay and Sandy as his own. He loved them both very much and wanted to legally adopt them and give them his name. But I did not want to hurt Johnny's mother -Grammy Barrette. I also thought it was important to keep Johnny's memory alive and for Jay and Sandy to never forget their father. "
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| Jay, Dad and Sandy Easter 1962 |
My parents did such a good job of raising our family as one. The word step or half were never used. We were just family. We always thought we were fortunate because we had three sets of grandparents. One day when our youngest sister Kerrie was about 4 or 5 we heard her tell a playmate about her other father who had died! Kerrie had assumed that if Jay and Sandy had another father then she did too!
My Parents love story lasted for more than 50 years. We have all been so very lucky that Kathy said yes to a blind date with Bobby.
Today's blog is dedicated to my father , Robert Walker, who passed away 5 years ago today. Dad was my genealogy partner. He loved going in search of old records, looking for lost ancestors in old cemeteries and he was the absolute best at all things technology. Without my father I never would of put all my genealogy on the computer. He would have loved this Blog! There is not a day that goes by that I don't wish I could share some new finding with him. His loss will be forever mourned.(7)
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| Robert Joseph Walker "Bobby" 1937-2015 |
(1) God Moment: Definition from Urban Dictionary (https://www.urbandictionary.com/) When one experiences a moment when God's real plan/presence/love is revealed.
(2) Story of Kathleen Bradley Barrette Walker as told to Robin Walker-Maya
(3) Rhody Warehouse is no longer in existence.
(4) Nana Walker is Annalene O'Leary Walker and mother to Robert (Bobby) Walker.
(5) "The Lake" is Lakeview Drive Keech Pond in Glocester, RI https://www.keechpond.com/
(6) William Irving Walker was 20 years old when he passed away suddenly from a blood clot. He had been married to Roberta (Wazybok)for a little over two years when he passed away. They had no children.
(7) Bold type are thoughts of Robin Walker-Maya
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